And 2 hours before the stage collapsed
Small J Twotson and Kunst Wankula and
Sarghole of Dickwadd, and MIloo Yapooloose prepared
to take the stage.
It’s prick pop 18.
A sea of thousands of white faces look out
the occasional dot of brown and black
most dressed in white teeth gleaming white hands in the air
Waving teutonic symbols on flags
Wankula slithers up onto the stage first
his whisky cheeks bulging with vomit readymade
backstage by Miloo.
Next the figure of Sarghole of Dickwad dressed
as the flabby Sultan of smug village with tiny printed
versions of himself badly ironed onto his orange shorts
Small Joe was dressed up in full
military uniform, with a few stains around the crotch,
he launched Alex Jonesin’ brand tactical wet wipes
as if he psychically knew what was about to happen next
(stole from John Oliver)
Miloo stepped up from behind his hair like a donut
iced with Vanilla drizzle, his shades jiggled around
and in that moment he suddenly resembled
every male teenage idol in western history,
Half the crowd jizzed in synchrony
catching it with the Al Jones tactical wet wipe.
And the band were yet to start.
The first number was titled “Femministasi”
an all white male chorus of victim-techno
Gammonati music such as
“The PC left stole my kitten called Klaus”
“Where can I stroke my Unicorn now?”
Sarghole got down on his knees
near the end of the tune and drank from Wankula’s
water bottle singing “I suck taps”.
Other notable musical abortions include
“Brokebuck Brexit Stomp”
“She’s a man now, what do ya’ ma’ call it?”
and “Immigrant Invasion Song” a new one
crafted by the four horseman while having tea with
Tummy Robberson in jail last week.
Twotson gave out 14 kilos
of cafeine substitute (called Jonesin) to the crowd
they chomped it up like good little consumers.
Next a special guest appearance
of J Peedhimself, doing and impression of Christopher
Lee while singing on the Prick Pop anthem
“Stairway To Romania”
a song about a bridge made of kippers
enable a torrent of frogs spawn memes to slop
into the democratic sewer system
and infect humanity with a case of the stupids.
Hi on Jonesin, the crowd went rampant for Peedhimself
and some pee’d themselfs laughing.
The brave went scrambling over the fences
to grab more combat wet wipes
and jizz another one off before the song was over.
But, it wasn’t over, for an encore,
out came the oldright all stirs
Morrissey came out, dancing, mumbling,
and fell down on Wankula injuring his large
Rungo Stars came walking out, like an aged hobbit
after visiting the 30th whore in Moscow,
his drum sticks were red and white.
Ned Pooge scuttled onto stage like a steroid accident,
his anger and smugness only matched
by Ulk Hogoon and Himmler.
Finally Sid Cock flies down from the roof
dressed as missile to rap on “All you need is hate”
the crowd echo their lines back at them:
“Start hating, start fighting, we need
freedom for our greed, for our greeeeeed’.
The band slowly fizzle out like a booze band
of washed up losers and youtube
The crowd vomiting and jizzing on each other
trading used wet wipes as souvenirs
the Jonesin formula turned out to be cut
with Pony prostate pills.
The line up for Prick Pop 18 includes the band
Clarkson Darkson, Infidel Shannon, Pantsterra
Misses PC, and The Ghost Of Jerry Fallwell.
Speakers include: Stevil Bannon, Nigel Mirrage
Bill The Swill Etherag, and Marine La Poison Pen.
Get your tickets while your bile is bubbling
25% Off for Prick Pop Klan members.